Honestly though, this isn’t just a quick Monday blog. This is a full-on survival recap because when I actually stopped for five minutes (which never happens) and thought about it, these last two weeks have been absolute chaos.

It really hit me on Friday when I was driving to Chalfont St Peter for my daughter’s MRI. They want to take a closer look at the cyst on her pituitary gland, which is still one of those sentences I say and think, how is this even my life right now?

I’m sitting in the waiting area and the background music is Spartacus. It’s dramatic, emotional, the kind of music that should make you feel something deep, and somehow it’s just making me sleepy. Like I’m in some slow-motion film scene about my own life, except I’m just a mum who desperately needs a coffee.

Except… the café is closed. Closed. On a Friday. At a place where people clearly need caffeine and emotional support. I’m sitting there slightly anxious, completely exhausted, and now caffeine-deprived against my will, thinking I need energy, I need answers, and I need a coffee… although after Monday, maybe I don’t.

Let’s rewind… because WOW

Monday – caffeine chaos (never again)

Monday… I got cocky.

Two coffees. One Coke Zero. White pasta.

What could possibly go wrong?

Everything.

By 1pm I had this horrible sinking feeling in my chest.

Not panic. Not stress. Just this weird, constant, uncomfortable feeling like my body had gone:

“Yeah… we don’t like this anymore.”

And it didn’t go away.

All day. All evening. All night.

Honestly… oh my actual days.

I was lying there thinking:

• Is this anxiety?
• Is this hormones?
• Is this my heart?
• Or have I just single-handedly broken my nervous system with caffeine??

Tuesday – the most pointless trip of my life

Then Tuesday morning, I’m back in the car, driving an hour to see my orthopaedic surgeon about my thumb. And the first thing I noticed when I walked in wasn’t even my thumb… it was his hair. Because last time I saw him, he was completely normal, I didn’t think twice about it. This time? Full transformation. Thick, flowy, ginger hair. I actually had a moment thinking, where has that come from? You don’t normally sit in appointments analysing someone’s hairline, but this was impossible to ignore. I genuinely think I spent more time processing the hair situation than I did discussing my thumb.

I swear I spent longer finding a parking space than I did in the actual appointment. And to really top it off? £3.50 for one hour of parking. I mean… I know it’s not £50 but it’s the PRINCIPLE. Petrol, time, energy… all for something that was over before I’d even mentally checked in. Back in the car like:

“Well that was a lovely little day out wasn’t it.”

Wednesday – the “enough is enough” moment

By Wednesday, something shifted. You know when you just sit there and think, enough is enough? That was me. Between how I’ve been feeling, the food reactions, the anxiety, the exhaustion, it all just clicked. Something has to change. And that’s when I started properly thinking about my book, something I’ve clearly been holding onto for a while. Let’s just say there was a bit of a moment there… to be continued.

Friday – doctor reality check

I was waiting for my WillPowers delivery, the product is called CALM, made with L-Theanine, and honestly, at this point, I was ready to greet the postman like he was delivering gold.  L-theanine is primarily used during perimenopause and menopause to reduce anxiety, manage stress-induced cortisol spikes, and improve sleep quality without causing morning drowsiness. It promotes relaxation, helps calm "racing thoughts" at night, and may enhance focus while supporting neuroendocrine health to combat "brain fog"  

By Friday I was speaking to the doctor, explaining how food is making me feel, the reactions, the random symptoms, the anxiety that doesn’t quite make sense. Saying it all out loud made it feel very real.

Saturday – the egg drama

Then Saturday came and things finally started to make sense. Eggs. I realised eggs might actually be triggering my anxiety. Since cutting them out, I’ve noticed a difference, which is mad considering how much I was eating them for protein. Here's a link explaining why intolerances can give you anxiety: https://smartblood.co.uk/blogs/food-intolerance/can-food-sensitivities-cause-anxiety?srsltid=AfmBOoqBo1M1NvdGNX53P_a-fl1YAMw_smGi3LMH8hy4yQVcRCmasiQs

Saturday late morning… The postman arrived and there was no way I was missing that parcel. Priorities have clearly shifted, and WILLPOWDERS CALM capsules actually do work!

Saturday night we got fish and chips, and I tried to be good, ordered grilled fish instead of fried, feeling very proud of myself… and then covered my potato wedges in olive oil, which completely defeated the object. Classic.

All week… quietly losing my mind

And through all of this, all week, I’ve been preparing for a kids cooking party. Shopping, organising, planning, because life doesn’t pause just because you’re exhausted.

Then Sunday arrived.

23 kids aged 8 making and baking, chocolate lollies, chocolate cakes, chocolate cookies. Honestly, it was manic. Loud, busy, chaotic, chocolate everywhere, energy levels through the roof. But they had the best time, which is what matters, and I received an amazing testimonial which made it all worth it.

... and then came the part no one talks about. The washing up. Trays, bowls, and chocolate on things that shouldn’t even have chocolate on them. Standing there thinking, why do I do this to myself? …oh yeah, because I’ll 100% say yes to another party next week like I’ve learned absolutely nothing.