Today’s achievement: a lay-in. Honestly, that alone deserves applause. My daughter is feeling slightly better, meanwhile I’m sliding downhill like a greased penguin — sick, dizzy, headache, shivery, but somehow also starving. The full winter buffet of symptoms. Love that for me.

And just when I thought the day couldn’t get any more thrilling… the Jehovah’s Witnesses were out in full force doing their door-to-door marathon. They rang the bell, and there was absolutely no chance I was going downstairs, so I shouted out the window, “How can I help you?” They told me they had a leaflet about anxiety because “a lot of people are suffering from anxiety.” Yes, babes, I am the anxiety. Then I asked what organisation they were from, because I needed the full tea since this was clearly my morning entertainment.

Breakfast was a cute attempt at wellness: soya yoghurt, Linwoods, tigernuts, blueberries… and my stomach said absolutely not. Hours later I admitted defeat and went back to plain toast. Bread is my toxic ex — I keep going back even though I know it brings chaos.

I spent a few more hours on this blog, deleted my Pinterest account (because I still don’t get it and I’m convinced it requires a special personality type I simply do not possess), and set up my Facebook page like the committed creator I apparently now am.

My friend popped over to check on me, which was sweet, but I did warn her I felt like death microwaved twice. I also introduced her to Dragon Green Tea, my absolute favourite — because even when I feel sick, I will still share my elite beverages. If she catches this virus, she will absolutely blame me — and she’d be right.

By 4:15pm it was already dark because the UK just loves to drain everyone emotionally. I genuinely cannot wait for spring. For dinner? A plain jacket potato. Rock and roll, I know. Still felt sick afterwards. GREAT.

On the bright side, I’m a Celebrity: The Cyclone was on tonight — the only task I actually watch. The rest of the series I’ve spent with an Oodie over my head, playing Candy Crush while people are being tortured in bug baths and food challenges, but the Cyclone? That's my vice! I’d love to do it — but with my knee? Let’s be real, I wouldn’t make it to the first star. I’d be taken out by a mild breeze.

Ended the night trying to sleep sitting up because I feel like crap. 10/10 day.